let's start some destruction tonight
by It's Raining Silver Shadows
Summary: "Sometimes I dream of flying. Other times I dream of changing the world. But most of the times I dream of being dead."  - For once, Derrick Harrington wasn't sure what his life was worth anymore. "You're not Peter Pan, Derrick. You can't live forever." AU
1. I've Fallen In Love With Your Eyes

**Author's Note: **Multi-chapter romance. I've been inspired by Nicholas Sparks and his beautiful writing. Oh, and this is dedicated to a lot of authors, so virtual cupcakes for everyone and their writing. (: Oh, and be nice, this is a first for me, but don't go easy on me. I like truthful reviews. **BTW; **This is Mosh-esque/Massington. ;) Just wait and see.

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**[ **- let's start some **d e **_s t r u c t _**i o n **tonight - **] **

**;**

The Hotz Café surpassed the quiet corner of the Great Memorial Library or her Saturday nights re-reading Jane Austen novels quietly to herself. The Hotz Café was her new home. It was an asylum from the troubles she endured. It was a cozy but rustic thing at the corner of Birch and Washington. The soft jazz tunes would soothe her and sometimes she'd dare snap along with the mellow poetry that would float about.

One quiet evening she had spent at the Hotz Café, she had told her Mother she was at a therapy session despite the fact she'd canceled those a long time ago. Three years ago to be accurate. It wasn't as if she needed them. So there she sat in her favorite booth, the one hidden in the corner, sipping on her tea and reading a classic romance novel, Pride and Prejudice.

"Excuse me?"

She looked up from her book to see a dazzling young fellow whom she decided was a shoe-in for the role of Mr. Darcy. His dark, wispy hair echoed that of the fictional character and his eyes seemed to hold the prideful stare of Darcy himself. "Yes," She said in her monotone voice, blankly blinking at him.

"Pride and Prejudice, huh? I'm guessing you're the quiet and romantic type." The sides of his lips curving into a devious smile as she adjusted her Lens Crafters, her blank stare melting into an equally childish grin.

"And I'm guessing you're the boastful type." She said plainly and looked back down to her book.

He seemed taken back and blinked for a few moments. "Um, well this is usually my booth. So I was wondering if I could scoot in." He paused. "It's meant for four and you're only one."

"Perhaps," She muttered. "Well, at least it'll confirm my alibi on you."

He raised an eyebrow as he slid across from her comfortably tucked away from the buzz of the Hotz Café. "You're alibi on me? Now, what is that?"

"You're the charming type," She explained. "Charming yet very persistent." With that, she ducked her head under her world of words that no one but her could ever understand the way she did.

* * *

It's been twelve months since the two first met at the Hotz Café. Josh Hotz had introduced himself as the heir to the throne of the café and she had simply introduced herself as Massie Block. The quiet one indeed. She had nothing to her name but the fact her father William Block was the richest man in America. Though he knew nothing about her. She was a fatherless child. That was all she had to her meaningless name.

That is until Josh came into her life. He was Mr. Uptown. He was **the **Chuck Bass himself. The two went to separate schools but shared a secret relationship. Nights at the café and even adventurous rendezvous to late night clubs that made Massie soon realize she was a striving adrenaline junkie.

It was the sticky summery night that Massie chose out of all those romantic evenings. She used tonight to break the news as they sat on his front porch licking cherry red Popsicle. "Josh. I'm moving."

It was as simple and as broken as that. He looked down at her with pleading orbs of cocoa brown that looked hurt and the same time full of rage. "What?" He spat.

She nodded her head and looked down at a march of ants crossing their path. "Yes. To Westchester, New York." Her amber eyes stung with tears. "I'm leaving New Jersey forever, Josh."

"No, no. You can't just freaking leave, Massie." He screamed into the wind and his Popsicle slammed onto the wooden floor. "That's not fair. To me. You. To us."

She looked out into the cold distance and it seemed like the summer had dissolved and all chances of happiness broken. "You don't understand. I have to leave for a reason." She whispered.

"What reason could be so important that it could break us apart, Mass?" He matched her tone level and melted his scowl into a pout. "Tell me."

She smiled weakly and shook her head. "I'm sick, Josh."

"Sick?"

"Yeah," Her monotone dripped with anger. "Sick."

"How sick?"

"First stage leukemia." She replied. "I've been sick for a while, Josh. And now I need to sort some things out."

"No."

She stuttered. "There's a school for people like me. I get to meet my dad and..."

"What do you mean 'people like you' huh?"

"No, it doesn't matter now. I just wanted to say goodbye."

There was another moment of silence before he spoke.

"So this is goodbye?"

She looked at him and for the first time since she brought up the subject, a crimson smile due to the wetness of the Popsicle danced across her face. "Josh, you're amazing. You're a true Prince Charming."

"So, this isn't goodbye?" He smiled back.

"No. It's just a road bump in our fairytale." She smirked.

"And, when will we finally have this so-called fairytale?"

"Not yet, Josh." She fell into his warm, broad arms, knowing that the only possibly way that they could have their fairytale was a scary thought. It was a nightmare that would reoccur until it finally concluded into one meaning: The only chance Josh Hotz and Massie Block had at love, was death into heaven.

* * *

Massie Block believes in the legend afterlife. So when Josh Hotz was pronounced dead, she didn't shed a tear or even throw a fit. She just sat there, her hair was dripping out and when Mrs. Hotz saw the girl who son was mutually in love with, she barely hid her shock.

"Josh didn't tell you about my condition." She commented.

Mrs. Hotz looked down to her Mary Janes and sighed. "He rarely told me anything."

"Except that he was in love with me." Massie sighed dreamily.

"Except that," Jane Hotz winced a bit. "He wouldn't hesitate to tell me one day he would sweep you from your feet and the two of you would run away."

"Yes, he was a dreamer." Massie smiled faintly.

"So he was," Jane confirmed and for a while the two just sat there in Massie's hospital room, smiling at each other. It was a peaceful silence between them and the thought occurred to Massie that Josh truly loved her. A mother wouldn't travel miles and miles to Westchester, New York to pronounce her son dead to a girl unless her son truly loved her.

"It'll be hard for me to move on." Massie said as Mrs. Hotz collected herself prepared to depart.

Mrs. Hotz looked deep into Massie's eyes and the words seemed to spill out before the two of them could ponder the wise aura of them. "Darling, life isn't about moving on." She said sternly. "It's about growing up and forgetting our mistakes."

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_review, and be nice(:  
oh, and i have this fetish with cozy little cafes,  
which explains 'zee hotz cafe'  
haha, okay. i'll stop._


	2. Without You, I'm Lost

**Author's Note: **It took a while but I updated. I got an amazing idea for a new fic but I'm not sure if I should post it yet. Let's make a deal? **5 **reviews or more on this chapter or this story overall at this point, and I'll continue. If there isn't much action soon, then I might delete it and post the other story because it's a really good idea and I think a lot of people would like it. But for now, enjoy this chapter. It's broken up into a lot of parts, but further chapters won't be like that - **PROMISE **- and these first few chapters are like an introduction. Mmkay. I'll shut up now. Enjoy & I hope this all makes sense, ha-ha. It's a tad bit confusing but at the beginning it's Josh and then it ends w/ Massie. So, yes, Joshie-Poo is dead in this story **:( R.I.P**

[ **disclaimed **]

the middle name; josh **emmet** hotz isn't from the actual clique stories.

* * *

Massie Block taught Josh Hotz a lesson he'd never forget. She taught him that sometimes being afraid was a simple test of what scared you in truth. Josh Hotz never took it to his heart until he realized that being afraid was a test that he had been ignoring his whole life. So, what scared Josh Emmet Hotz?

Being in love, and dying. That scared him the most.

**;**;

He was speeding that night that he had chosen to end his existence. Drunk and speeding down the dirt road was when he decided that the game was over and he wasn't so scared of death anymore. He'd be throwing his soccer career in the trash and his flawless grades and reputation.

He'd be throwing away his relationship with Massie Block. Distant or not distant, something was going on between them and it was something that he couldn't shake. He couldn't shake it at Nikki Daltons' New Years Eve Blowout when the hostess herself had hit on him. He couldn't shake it when he was drowning down the wine glasses of White Diamond. He couldn't shake it when he was making out with Olivia Ryan in the coat closet trying to numb the pain of losing Massie. Letting her move away was the worst mistake of his life, and now with the leukemia spreading, he could lose her forever.

He could lose her forever.

Josh Hotz released his firm grip on the steering wheel and put the 2010 Lamborghini Murcielgo to a slow halt and relaxed his head against the wheel. Suicide wasn't the answer and death scared him too much.

So did being in love.

**;**;

Josh Hotz died on a Saturday morning.

The birds were chirping and grasshoppers' fresh with sound danced about their habitats. But something was wrong about nature. The aura of death was around them and it wilted like a dying rose.

Police and ambulance found his 2010 Lamborghini Murcielgo parked at the side of the highway with a gaping hole crashed at the side of it. Blood was splattered across the neon yellow décor and his body was found cold and lifeless.

He was under the influence of alcohol which was a fact noted once a few tests were run on the body. There was no point of testing on someone whose life couldn't be saved, but Jane Hotz just needed to know. Was her son as suicidal as she thought? Could she have saved him?

But she couldn't have saved him from what he was experiencing. Love was a bitter taste that was like Vodka burning through your throat and clawing its way through. It was what killed Josh Hotz.

He thought he could save her, and sweep her away so they could spend her last days together. But there relationship was more than meets the eye. Massie Block was dying but Josh Hotz was dead.

He never knew he was dying but he felt a stab through his heart as soon as the moment occurred.

Life wasn't fair. It never was. But death scared Josh Hotz more than life ever did, and now he was gone.

Josh Hotz died on a Saturday morning.

**;**;

"Good morning, Massie." Kendra Block crooned at the flutter of her daughters' amber eyes. "You look beautiful now that the cancer is dying down a bit." Her daughter on one hand looked beautiful and natural. Not one hint of make-up had crossed her face and she looked radiant as the sunlight poured in.

But Kendra Block on the other hand was a mess. Her blond-slash-brown hair was curtained across her face and sweat padded on her red cheeks. She had no sleep and dark bags graced her eyelids.

"Thanks," Massie replied. "What's on the agenda for today?" She questioned. Ever since Massie Block and Kendra reunited with her father – William Block – Massie had been turned into the face of what seemed to be a campaign creating a program for cancer patients.

Her father was nothing like Massie. Sure, a hint of resemblance was there but he was a rich, successful business man with a whole rewritten life. He had even made sure he told Massie that when she was established it was out of a few glasses of Vodka and a wild high school reunion. He was just telling her that she was a mistake he regretted. But she was sure he didn't regret the cash he was making out of her face being used for 'Catch a Falling Star' cancer awareness program that gave patients with severe cases a chance to 'catch-a-falling-star' and make a wish for anything within reason.

Despite the fact her case wasn't as bad, she worked great as the poster child which was milking loads of cash from charities and rich families from Westchester. She had barely agreed until William made a deal for a percentage of the cash to be donated to any chosen fund of hers. Her mother protested but Massie agreed on her own whim – also due to the fact her father was planning on paying the medical bills.

What did she have to lose?

"Your father has this charity ball in mind for us to attend that's coming up at the end of this summer. But I don't think it's appropriate for you to go in this condition. You're tired and weak and with Josh's death in mind, it's not proper." Kendra snapped.

Massie looked out the window perched on the white-and-blue plaid walls at the willow tree posed outside of the window. It was a relaxing scene of a park that children and their families would walk through. It was the perfect scene of life but it didn't calm her down one bit. "Josh Emmet Hotz is dead and there's nothing I can do." She paused. "I myself am dying and there is nothing I can do."

"Massie Jillian Block," Kendra suppressed a scream. "You're going to fight through this and win the battle. Did I mention my mother survived cancer and my sister as well?"

"Yes," She muttered. "I wouldn't ever leave you because I wanted to, mom. Death isn't a choice." She choked back a sigh as she thought of how it was considered Josh could've committed suicide. It was still unknown but the thought was a stab at the heart.

"The doctors said the condition is loosening now. I'm free to be discharged from the hospital soon. I heard it with my own ears. If the cancer comes back then give me time to live at least," She started. "Give me time to go back to school and meet people. Give me time to change a life, mom." The words came out faster than expected, and she regretted her next ones as she said them. "Give me time to fall in love, again."

But she knew the truth and she knew it well. Massie Block would never fall in love again.

* * *

**fin.**

**[ **the catch-a-falling-star is based on another program. but it's important to the story so yeah ;) **]**

review, and be nice. **  
**


	3. Save Me A Dance, I'll Save You A Kiss

**Author's Note: **I'll post the other idea soon in the Fall and continue with Rumors Spread Like A Forest Fire: The Revamped Version Coming Soon. &+ This one of course. This isn't as interesting but it's nice.

Btw; this scene is at the charity ball for the Catch-A-Falling Star Program (:

**iguess(: -jazzy(and julie is M.I.A)**

**

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**

The one thing about charities William Block despised was not the advertising – he had the best publicist around Westchester – nor was it the sponsors or rich families trying to donate as much as possible to look good the press better yet known as The Westchester Elite a local magazine better yet known as the towns' own Page Six. No, he loved that.

But what he hated the most about charities was the festivities that came along with the package. Something scandalous and news-worthy always seemed to occur whenever he threw one of these blow-outs. The first time he threw a charity ball; he was photographed drunk and sang the night away with old songs from the 80's. It took three publicists and a lawyer to get that away from the press.

Then the second year he was found kissing an uninvited and quite inebriated, Pamela Anderson. Then the third time he met Nadia Callas. Now that wasn't a scandal but it sure changed his life. He realized that meeting the infamous aspiring director-slash-dancer and her also flawless daughter who was a summer dance teacher at the Westchester House of Arts would be a major publicity move. So as much as he wanted to rewrite the past and reunite with his lost daughter and high school sweetheart, he decided being successful was most important.

Now this year at the 'Catch-A-Falling-Star' charity ball he was throwing tonight, the press would be there as well as A-List celebrities and rich Westchester families. But they didn't matter. All that mattered would be his daughter, cancer victim and the poster child for the charity, Massie Block.

The press would eat the news of his unknown daughter up and it'd be printed on all the newspapers and comments from Nadia – his current wife – and how they felt about her. But William didn't hate Massie Block. He loved her. He was ecstatic she would be there representing him. Though after their awkward and rigid conversation outside of The Masquerade House – a multi-floored ballroom and the heart of all infamous events - William decided the press didn't matter for once no matter how much they were flashing their cameras and jotting down notes on who this mystery girl William was talking to was.

"So, this is the first event or outing you've had in a couple of years. How do you feel?" William tried to stir up some conversation between his daughter and him as they both sat awkwardly beside each other after deciding that they could bond alone for a few minutes as they pulled up to the Masquerade House.

Kendra Block and Nadia Rivera along with her daughter were trailing behind in a just as expensive car and William could imagine the chaos that was erupting there. He typed a text to the driver who claimed that the car was as peaceful as ever.

Jacques could never tell a lie even over his iPhone 3G – paid for by William of course.

"I feel content. I feel like each second is the last one I'll be here to experience. So I am thankful for each second to pass. Will I even make it to the ball? Or shall I die on cue? The thought is disturbing but doesn't toy with my emotions." Massie Block fiddled with the hem of her Anna Sui gown.

William Block for once took in his daughter and a smile rested upon his face. She had a mixture of his cocoa orbs and her mothers' blue ones. But her amber irises shined through the pain he knew she was feeling. She had been through so much and he had been through nothing except a few bills and such.

The smile disappeared at once.

**;**;

The Masquerade House was elegant and beautiful taking Massie and Kendra Blocks' breath right out of their Dior glossed lips. Massie grazed her hand against Kendra's and a smile flickered across her face.

"Isn't it wonderful? It's like in the books I read. This scene would be perfect for the wedding in the classic romance between star-crossed lovers." Massie dreamed for a moment then flashed back.

"Yes, it's an eye pleaser. But we're here for business and to associate with a few of your fathers' other business partners to talk about the fund," Kendra Block paused."I'm sure they'll be overjoyed to meet Williams' long lost daughter and wife." She twitched at the word wife. "Ex-wife." She corrected.

"Perhaps a bit of dancing and mingling wouldn't hurt," Massie countered. "You look divine in that Marc Jacobs dress with those Gucci heels and a touch of jewelry." She drawled, mocking Nadia and Alicia Rivera's mini-conversation in the foyer of the ballroom.

Nadia Rivera and Alicia were being impeccably polite to Kendra and Massie despite the fact the two hated the Spanish beauties. Alicia was about Massie's age and would be attending school with her at the Westchester House of Arts. Alicia claimed the two would be the best of friends.

Massie knew better than to trust her.

Kendra let out a twinkling laughter as a photographer snapped a photo of them. "Oh, Massie, just a couple of years ago we were sitting in a screwed up apartment – pardon my language – trying to figure out how we would pay your hospital bills. Now we're here wearing designers barely making it by but surviving."

Massie smiled a bit and sighed. "It's Gods' gift to me. My last few seconds of Earth and they are spent here at a ball." Kendra flashed a glare at her daughter. Death was out of the question with the mother but Massie was sure that she would be a young corpse.

"But back to the subject at hand," She whispered. "There's William with a few of his colleagues. I think he's waving you over there." She pointed out William Block chuckling in a crowd of Axe cologne and Armani suits. "It's possible you could meet a new piece of eye candy in that crowd." Massie winked.

"Massie, I swear. I'm going to need to wash your mouth out with soap if you keep talking like that." Kendra swatted at the air and walked over to the men despite the smile playing across her lips.

"Save me a dance." Massie called over the Phil Collins dancing across the air.

**;**;

Cam Fisher wasn't an escort but he wasn't a jerk either.

"Dude, this Massie chick must be some reject if no one bothered to ask her to a Block blowout." Derrick Harrington muttered as he put his Lexus 2010 Sports Car in park in front of The Masquerade House.

Cam Fisher threw a glare at his friend and let out a loose sigh. "Man, I know. But be realistic here, William Block is the man of Westchester. He could get me a freaking scholarship at Harvard if he wanted, which he will. Taking his niece to this ball or whatever could be my big break. I need this."

Derrick groaned and rested his head on the steering wheel. "I don't know the big shit about being a doctor is but whatever makes it seem so appealing must be something because I thought we agreed to be soccer stars at the World Cup."

"That was when we were freshman. We're juniors now and we need to start thinking of our future. I mean, sure you could stick to soccer but I'm a man of medicine now whether you like it or not."

"Yeah, I guess I could pursue in the music business or something."

"And when you want to come call my future secretary, make an appointment, and I'll get you some connections." Cam Fisher rested one of his infamous smirks across his face.

Derrick grumbled a string of curses. "Fine, but I get to dance with Alicia Rivera tonight so that better not end up screwed up." He muttered.

"It won't. No worries. You can dance it up with Alicia all you want." Cam laughed. "Unless, Nadia Rivera gets to you first, of course." He joked. The Westchester elite families were so close that they shared children practically. But of course, Derrick Harrington was a favorite of the parents. And Nadia Rivera was the most obsessed with the soccer star.

"That woman is a bitch in loafers." Derrick mumbled.

Derrick Harrington died when he saw Massie Block and then came back to life. She was beautiful in every angle. From head-to-toe she looked like an angel. He wanted to hold her right away. He wanted to kiss her. But no, he could never admit that he had been whipped-at-first-sight.

"Hi, I'm Cam Fisher."

That's when Derrick's world crumbled. When he realized that his best friend was the one to get all the girls and that she wouldn't even glance at Derrick once. He looked down at his white v-neck and leather jacket – borrowed from Harris Fisher – and dress shoes. Wasn't he handsome enough?

"Yeah, Derrick is a bit of a rebel. I mean, leather jackets are my thing but this is white-tie so I wouldn't want to break the rules or anything." Cam was already laughing with the angel.

Derrick could feel his fists clench together and he could see Alicia Rivera waving to him with seduction in across her face. He could feel his face turn apple red but he ignored the comment.

Cam Fisher is the ladies' man. But Derrick Harrington is the shadow. Derrick is the soccer star but Cam is the future William Block in the making. Cam has the smarts. Derrick has the wit. Massie Block is beautiful, and intelligent and not his. She'll never be his.

Derrick could see the determination in Cam's multi-colored eyes and sighed.

"I'll be with Alicia if you need me." Or want to make fun of me more, Derrick thought to himself. And like magic the words came out before he could think of them. "Save me a dance," He winked at Massie.

As he walked away, mentally slapping himself, he could almost see a smile on her beautiful face.

**;**;

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filler-chapter ;x DON'T STONE ME.


	4. Let Me Understand You

**Author's Note: **New format-ish. So, have fun with this chapter. I'm on vacation. So it kind of stinks. Thanks for the reviews. Love x 10. [:

Sorry for mistakes in the last chapter x] It's Nadia RIVERA. Not Callas :p & in this story will be Mosh; Cassie; & Massington. Other pairings are; Wadia **(William/Nadia) **Wendra **(William/Kendra) **Halicia (**Harrington/Alicia) **And more suprises. It won't just focus on Massie.

OH, and warning: The ending is sad but it's realistic/happy-ish. I have it planned out.

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Let Me Understand You

[-**Let's turn this world around then upside down**-]

**;**;

**The first mistake Cam Fisher made of the night – was trying to understand Massie Block.**

"For the record, white-tie events aren't a favorite of mine." He muttered as he held onto her thin waist and swayed to the orchestra music. She looked radiant in the lights and he couldn't resist but want to hold her closer. But he decides he's not interested and tries to stir up small talk instead.

"Same. But perhaps it's for a good cause but I still disagree with the moral. Cancer is something that should be mourned not celebrated." She nodded and looked to the marble ballroom floor.

"But it is for a good cause and charities are meant to be celebrated." He countered. "Though I have to somewhat agree because I haven't seen one cancer survivors or patient yet. You know?"

She got some strange gleam in her amber eyes and for a moment it was like she was testing him. Her hold on his shoulders somewhat released and she seemed to be stepping back from him. But instead she pulled closer. "Yeah, I know." She mumbled back.

**His second mistake? Was deciding he needed to understand Massie Block. He wanted to.**

She was a puzzle with a missing piece. He was single and so was she, he presumed. "You're not dating someone, right?" He questioned then added a stammering: "Just wondering."

The strange gleam crossed her face again and she sighed. "Sort of. Well, no. But still, I don't think," She tried. "No, I'm not dating anyone." Then she pulled her gaze from his attractive face and thought to Josh Hotz. Cam Fisher was beautiful. A bit too beautiful for her taste. No one could top Josh Hotz. No one.

"Tough break-up." She added. "He ended it. Not me."

**The third mistake Cam Fisher made of the night – was smiling at her sad face.** "It's time to pick up those broken pieces, Fisher." He whispered to himself. Cam Fisher is an expert at picking up broken pieces.

But who said Massie Block was broken?

**;**;

Jane Hotz looked through the racks and racks of magazines and books. "Sports Illustrated. Soccer Incorporated." She stopped at one thick pale manila folder with papers exploding from the folds and messy handwriting scribbled all over. "Job Applications?"

**Full Name (Printed): **Joshua Emmet Hotz

**Age/Date of Birth: **16; December 24th

**Parents' Full Name: **Janice Maria Hotz  
Javier Emmet Hotz

**Previous Work Positions: **McDonalds Cashier – The Foot Locker Co-Manager

**Preferences / Recommendation Statements:  
**"Joshua Emmet Hotz has served a great deal of volunteer work at the General Hospital Cancer division without a payment. He is a responsible young man with a story and a journey coming his way."  
- Dr. Quinton.

"Josh is a classy young man with dreams and he'll be perfect for whatever job comes across his path. He's very persistent and social and has interacted with customers from all over. At the Foot Locker we appointed him as the youngest co-manager ever and he has sent our sales sky-rocketing."  
– Al Milson, Manager of the Foot Locker.

**Home Phone: **N/A Not Available

**Cell Phone: **555-830-3413

**Medical Contact:  
**Father Work Phone: 555-657-3324

**Applicant Statement: **I believe working at **The Trust Firm **would increase all social abilities and help me understand more about life. I heard about the firm from a past girlfriend due to her cancerous condition, **The Trust Firm **has assisted with family problems, and medical bills which I think is a true life saver for those with similar issues. From my understand, the firm is a company that takes hospital patients under a specific age and assures that they do whatever they can to assist if they cannot pay hospital bills or need home nurses. I am applying to be a **SOCIAL ASSISTANT **meaning I shall converse with the patients and make sure they are comfortable with their condition. Thank you.

Jane couldn't read further, she dropped the papers all over her son's old room and let out a low scream. How dare her son contact their father? After what he did to them Josh still trusted him. She gulped down and knew she couldn't contain her food down.

But she stayed strong and plucked up another thick envelope that was creased and ripped. She turned it upside down and out poured at least what seemed like one thousand dollars. "What in the world?" She whispered then read the scribbled words on the envelope:

**MONEY FOR COLLEGE TUITION & MASSIE'S HOSPITAL BILLS**

Jane then proceeded to throw up her Alfredo Pasta all over the floor. Love made her sick.

**;**;

"Hi. You're Cam's date, right?"

Massie turned around to see the friend of Cam Fisher who was with them earlier. He had a wine spill splattered on his white v-neck that showed a shadow of his built abs. "Sort-of. I guess."

"Wow. One of the female species isn't sure if Cam Fisher is her date. Oh, gosh," He acted mock-surprised slash confused. "I'm kidding, though. It's just Cam goes through chicks like money flying right out his hands." He bit back his tongue.

"Oh. He works fast." She muttered. "That's fine with me. Life's too slow to be a turtle."

"That makes sense," He stammered and began to walk from the beverage and food table before she grabbed his arm and smiled weakly. "Yeah?" He questioned.

"I kind of just want to talk," She paused. "Cam's talking to William. Something about a scholarship. I told them I was going to get some air. Want to come?" She looked to see a drunken Alicia Rivera stumbling towards them and calling Derrick's name. "Or should you stay?"

Derrick suppressed a laugh and beckoned to the balcony. "Let's chill over there. I don't want her puking on me or anything. And I doubt you want to talk business with Cam. He's a serious kid once you get to know him."

"Well, I'm a serious girl." She countered.

"I wouldn't have guessed."

"You're more of a multi-choice person, right?"

"Right."

"You scare me a bit."

"Get a restraining order then."

"I think I will."

"You don't even know me."

"Then let's change that."

Massie Block looked up at Derrick Harrington and smiled. His wispy blond-ish hair was dancing in the wind and his eyes were shining. He shook with laughter and let out a loose sigh. "It's beautiful here at Westchester sometimes," He commented. "Sometimes it's nice to just look out at the stars."

The stars were a true beautiful sight and Massie sighed in response. She closed her eyes and just thought how great it'd be to sit out here and watch the stars, without the cancer and with Josh Hotz sitting right beside her. "Derrick," She whispered. "It's Derrick, right?"

He nodded, his hands resting on the railings.

"The meaning of the name, Derrick," She racked her brain of the millions of 'name meaning' books she'd read. "Your name means: Ruler of people. Derrick. I like that name."

"Ruler of people, huh?" He echoed. "That's somewhat right." He joked.

"I'd hope not," Massie smiled, and then looked back up the night sky. After a few pauses, she fished out her iPod out of the pocket – she had personally made against her fathers' will – she handed Derrick an Apple earphone. "Music?"

"Music is my personal drug."

"It's a medication for me, you could say." Massie said as he inserted the earphones and she inserted hers, pulling them a bit closer to each other. "What song?"

"Um, I'm more of an obscure-vintage music dude."

"Elaborate, please?"

"Linkin Park, Metric, old 80's music. The list goes on." He counted down band names and singers.

"Metric is a beautiful group, huh? The music is deep and one of my favorites by them happens to be Help, I'm Alive. The words are so interesting and skin deep." Massie scrolled down the music list on her iPod.

"What's that song?"

"Oh, Rocketship 2010," She explained. "It was performed by Shiny Toy Guns. They're this amazing band of musical artists and their music is so upbeat and electric. Almost robotic,"

"Let me hear,"

She pressed the song and let it start out. With a sigh, she looked up at the stars and let the music fill her ears. Josh Emmet Hotz loved the stars. She almost remembered when Josh had sent her a letter stating he had bought her a star. He named it after her at least. She was sure it cost him a lot of cash, but he refused to announce the amount and told her to enjoy the stars while she could.

It made her cry but he held her until the night was over. It was the night he told her he loved her. She enveloped out of arms and in a brave voice she didn't regret. She asked a question that made him wonder. "Joshua Emmet Hotz. What is love?"

**;**;

"Gosh, Massie. I haven't seen you all night. Where have you been?" Cam grabbed Massie's hand and turned her to face him in a gentle gesture that made her blush. "I missed you," He teased.

She pulled a strand of hair behind her ear and shrugged. "I met Derrick. Your friend. He's nice. Hilarious as well." She paused. "He told me much about you too. You sound real interesting."

"Thanks," Cam smiled and straightened his posture. "So. You and Derrick were talking? About what?"

She looked at him and returned a smile. Her amber orbs seemed to glaze into the distance as she watched Derrick attempt to tame a drunk Nadia and Alicia Rivera pulling him into a bear hug. The Masquerade House was swinging with happiness and joy. It was almost ten o' clock but the night was young.

_She thought back to when Derrick and her were at the balcony laughing and listening to music._

_He asked her: "So, a beautiful person like you must have an old flame or two?"_

_She felt distant from Derrick but so close. She settled for a simple nod but he wanted more. He wanted her story. So, there he sat like a child and she sat like a teacher, and told him her stories. Stories from the abandoned father – not mentioning William's name of course – to Josh. Minus the death._

"_What was so amazing about this Josh?"_

"_He was nice, and obnoxious. He was so loveable that people hated him. He was Romeo and I was Juliet. We came from two families and two schools. But when we went to the Hotz Café we just clicked. It was magic to tell the truth. He liked the sun, and I liked the rain. He liked smiles, and I didn't even crack one until our relationship got further. He was the golden boy, and I was the fly on the wall. He read sports books, and I read love books. But now I'm a full-fledged fan of soccer and he's a fan of a bit of Shakespeare. He was the other half of me. I was his. He didn't have to be amazing. He was amazing because I loved him."_

_Derrick had taken that as answer, but brought another question that broke her heart._

"_You left," He stammered. "You loved the man and then: You left. What the hell kind of ending is that? There must be more? Or are you that girl who falls in love with any dude?"_

_She should've been mad. But she understood him perfectly. "I had to leave, Derrick." She replied and sighed. "Plus, I was going to come back, but he wasn't there. He left too. We both left."_

"_You both left the greatest relationship of your young lives, huh?"_

"Oh, me and Derrick?" Massie Block sighed. "We didn't talk about much. Just looked at the stars."

Cam surrendered and didn't go farther. Instead he smiled at her as the music became louder. "Let's dance. You seem tense, loosen up." He bent down to her size – which wasn't a long trip – and pecked her on the cheek. She tensed up more and Cam laughed.

Cam Fisher decided that Massie Block was a mix of tears, laughter and confusion. "I'm going to figure Massie Block out. No matter how long it takes." He thought to himself.

Massie Block looked at Derrick then back to Cam and to her mother dancing with some random salesman who was holding on to her a bit too tight. One thought crossed her mind. Just one.

More like one wish. "Josh? Wherever you are, help me?"


	5. Please, Hear Me Out

**authorsnote, please read:  
**so i opened a new story to make a better version of this, but  
will people still read it? it's been a year so i'm not sure what people  
think. review or PM me if i should continue the story and i'll see.  
because i enjoyed writing this but i don't know if people will stick to it.


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